People often talk about meeting the right one, finding the right one, how do you know he’s the right one etc…. the truth is, there is no “right one” out there just waiting for you so they can have a perfect relationship with you – with no issues. There are lots of bad ones, and there are lots of good ones, but it’s up to you to choose the right one for you- the one you will spend the rest of your life with. This is a series on choosing the right one – click here
I get many questions on this blog about relationships, and whether so and so is good for me since so and so did such and such… and I find that I keep giving the same advice… which I don’t mind doing… but for those of you that may be too shy to ask questions I will just write this series for you, and pretend that we’re having a nice conversation in a beautiful cafe, secluded from everyone else.
One main issue is MONEY… MONEY… MONEY… it doesn’t matter what country you’re in, or what country you’re from or what country he’s from… I hear about the same issues all over the world – MONEY… if y’all don’t get your money situation right… y’all gwanna be miserable… and what do I mean by that???
- Is he in debt?
- If he’s in debt, how much debt?
- If he’s in debt, does he have plans to pay it off?
- Is he quick to borrow?
- Can he be trusted with money?
- Is he a spender or a saver?
- Can he take your advice on how to spend y’all’s money?
- Can he take the advice of trusted people in y’all’s life?
- Is he generous or selfish?
- Does he also support other family members?
*and of course… does he have a job???
These are just a few things to consider, because if he’s in debt, when y’all get married then you will be in debt as well… and if he is quick to borrow, y’all will always be in debt… and you know what the good book says – the borrower is slave to the lender – and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be a slave…
If he can’t be trusted with money i.e. he has some kind of addiction, or money spending vice… well your children may be in rags… if he never thinks about saving, then your children may be in rags… if he can’t listen to your advice about money, then your children, and maybe even you may be in rags…
marriage is all about communication, and learning to live together as one… money is the greatest things that I have seen cause divorces, almost caused divorces etc… y’all need to be on the same page about it… and I’m not saying that you should open an account together before you’re married – that has it’s own challenges – but what I’m saying is find out where the money in your family will be going… so at least you won’t be take unawares…
but if what he does with his money shocks you… then baby girl… time to sing that song:
“These boots were made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do…”
Now for my married sisters… you can still make it work, just go for counseling and try to get on the same page. It would have been better if you were prepared ahead of time, but it’s not too late… work on your marriage, talk, talk, talk, talk… and you’ll see that your marriage can be very sweet.
Smile my people 🙂
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