So you got drunk and blacked out – I'm so jealous!

I wish you could feel my despair as I walk behind you and you tell your friend of all the fun you had this past weekend. You got drunk, got wasted, blacked out, and woke up in someone’s bed. Oh and then you tell of how funny it was when you were in church on Sunday and your hair still smelled like the cigarette smoke from the night before…ahh good times. Yeah I was just telling a friend the other day how I wish we would stop talking about how we plan on making our first million and would instead go out and get wasted…

Before you all start sending me hate-mail because you can tell I’m being facetious, please realize that I have heard these stories multiple times in public spaces from some girl or guy who thinks that this is the coolest “funest” thing ever! really? is it? Do you realize that time is the most valuable resource that you have and what you lose you can never get back? Do you realize that there are people wishing that they had the opportunities that you have, and yet here you are living casually as if you don’t have a purpose. Well maybe no one ever told you that you have a purpose…alright I’m telling you now…or maybe you are too lazy to do anything to accomplish your purpose…well that’s unfortunate for you and for us because there will never be anybody like you to accomplish the goals that you were created to accomplish.

Why not do something this week that you have never done before…stay away from the alcohol and the parties…just for one week. Instead spend some time alone figuring out your purpose, or learning how others accomplished their goals. Or spend some time with a good friend talking about your future goals.

Remember as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. If you think your time is worthless and it is best spent killing brain cells then it is. But if you think your time is precious and you want to accomplish every goal that you have been placed on the earth to do, then it is.

Have a great week my dear!

Go to college or don't – it doesn't matter much

Did you know that there is a free library in your town? Yes I’m serious. It’s free to join, free to check out books, free to even request books that may be in a different location. I know it may sound like a lie, but I promise you that unless you live in a very rural and small town, there is a library in your town. So why is it that only 3% of people in America have library cards…hmm maybe they don’t know that it’s free…
And did you also know that there are many free ivy league courses online, yeah I just learned about the history of economics at Yale university…hmm maybe I should start calling myself a Yale alumni…just a thought…

Innyhoo, these days lack of access to knowledge can no longer be an excuse for you not accomplishing your purpose on this earth. Yes I am a licensed attorney, and yes I went to a great school with great and supportive professors, but I can honestly say that I have learned more about the law outside of school than inside…I mean there is a difference between trying to make sure you pass the one exam for the one class out of the many classes you are taking so that you can keep your scholarship, and learning from someone who is doing what you want to do, or reading a book or listening to an audiobook about some aspect of the law that you actually enjoy.

Don’t get me wrong. If you have access to college especially if you can do it with minimal or no debt then go for it. There will always be the people who will only judge you based on the letters after your name, and its often easier to change the system from within instead of without. But if you didn’t go to college, and are not planning to do so any time soon, don’t let that stop you. Many people today who did not go to college are making the same or more money than those who did, which is even more ironic because they don’t have to deal with the college debt. Dream big dreams, make great plans, study great people and accomplish great goals!

Why not do something this week that you have never done before…write down something that you always thought has restricted you in life – you did not go to college, or you did not go to the prestigious college, or your face is not pretty enough or you are not tall enough- take whatever you wrote and write next to it : This is a lie, this is not true…and place it in a conspicuous place. Any time that thought comes to you, look at that piece of paper and remind yourself of the truth.

Remember that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he…so if you believe that you are not good enough, then you are not. But if you believe that you can do all things through Christ, then you can.

Have a great week my dear!

The Person: Lorraine Esposito (Scarsdale, NY)

Listen to the interview here: it’s only 30 minutes long

Download MP3 audio here

In this interview I had the opportunity to chat with Lorraine Esposito, a dynamic professional coach in New York. We talked about various things, including what are our personal values, how our environment influences our decisions, the importance of having a choice and realizing we have a choice, and how fear debilitates our decision making process.

You can find more information about Lorraine here:

Her website: ThePeacemakerCoach

Her book: The Peacemaker Parent

Feel free to Contact her here

 

If you would like to be interviewed on THE PERSON Please feel free to contact me

Below is the transcript of the first few minutes

Introduction:

This is THE PERSON. I’m Osayi

Most people today are looking for work that they can enjoy and be passionate about, so when I meet someone who is doing something they enjoy I always want to know how did you get here? And what advice would you give to help others find work that they love?

Today we will be talking with Lorraine Esposito.

LORRAINE ESPOSITO is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and an author, speaker, and coach training instructor for Coachville – the largest and fastest growing business and personal coaching organization in the world. In this interview we talk about the process of finding your passion.
She is the peacemaker coach and the author of the peacemaker parent. She currently lives in NY

As you listen to our interview you can see pictures, read the transcript and get more information at iyasostuff.com

Osayi: Hi Lorraine, welcome to THE PERSON, thank you for interviewing with us

Lorraine: It’s my pleasure thank you for being patient.

Osayi: I’m really excited to talk to you today, it’s always great to talk to people who enjoy what they do, With that being said lets get on to what it is to be a life coach, how did you get into it, and what exactly do you do?

Lorraine: alright Let’s see what did I do to get here, it was a really long process, it didn’t have to be so long I guess it just took a long time for me to realize that I had the passionate desiere to help people in this particular way. I had always been helping people around a specific topic but in the last six years before I turned over to life coaching full time I was a fitness coach and I went to people’s homes and coached them around their body and I realized that what they were needing from me was more than just a new way to do a sit up or something of that nature, they were looking for a connection to why doing all of this was really meaningful for me and to help them uncover the purpose the passion the drive. The payoff to them personally for doing all these things. I was successful in helping them doing all those things so I thought I better get some training and make sure that I am doing this correctly so I went to training school. It just sort of fell into place and I realized that this is where I need to be. I need to make life coaching be the primary and use fitness, passion, career, as the added benefit. Does that make sense?

Osayi: Yes that makes makes sense. So what exactly do you do as a coach?

Lorraine: I’m in the business of more and less. People want more of something and less of other things, and Helping people figure out what they really want more of and less of, and not just what it is but why it’s important to have more of that and less of this is a process of collaborating and figuring it out. and all of it bases on personal values. It is the backbone that helps you make those tough choices and put a magnifying glass on everything so that it is completely clear when you are presented with two options, which one is really the right one for you. So when I coach people it is a process of helping them make sense of all the internal signals that they have already going on inside them that may be creating alot of confusion and chaos so that they can relax and move forward and get more of what they want.

If you would like to be interviewed on THE PERSON Please feel free to contact me here

Poem: Yet

This is a guest post by Sofia Marquez.

yet, i continue to tend it.
and i hope still for a plentiful harvest
though it’s all been trampled on by
the uncaring hooves of a passing horse.

Sofia Marquez graduated from UCLA in 2007. She currently lives in Stockton, CA were she sometimes writes.

Who says money can't buy peace


I recently moved to a new neighborhood, and I love it! It’s a bit on the expensive side for me (especially when I compare it to what I spent in a four bedroom apartment shared with three other ladies in college), but it has been a great experience. There’s a gym, a little pool, a nice laundry room, and whenever I need the repair folks, they are at my apartment within 24 hours. Oh did I mention that it’s nice and quiet around here, right around the corner from my favorite library, and across the street from all my favorite stores…yes I guess it would be my version of heaven on earth…and as I said earlier I’m paying a bit of money for this privilege.

In contrast, I’m creating a website for a new business venture. It was a bit complex and I knew it would be very expensive, so I decided to outsource it. We came up with a deal – 3 weeks, 30 hours a week and my website will be completed (in all it’s glory). I would pay 1/3 as a deposit, and then pay the rest when the project was completed. I was so excited! I paid the deposit, then paid a little extra when they explained to me that they were in dire straits…

It has now been 11 weeks, and my website is still not completed. Whenever they give me a draft I find myself asking for multiple edits. My dilemma now is should I just leave everything and walk away and start all over again with someone else? or should I just wait for them to complete it some time between now and the year 2027?

Either way, you get what you pay for…

Don't say Nothing (Insert Nigerian Accent)

I’m not psychic, if you don’t say anything to me, I will assume that we are okay.

Have you ever found yourself worrying and agonizing about what you think somebody else is thinking, and why they acted a certain way? Just when you think you’ve figured out what is actually bothering them, you realize (after finally asking them) that it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

That’s why I made it my motto a long time ago that if “you don’t say nothing” I don’t care how you act, I will assume we are okay.

Being silent – if there are issues- doesn’t work in personal relationships, and it definitely doesn’t work when it comes to business. There are so many questions that every person trying to get into business wonders about, and if you’re in business or thinking about business, you can’t afford to be silent. Being in business is not about getting rich quick; it’s about researching and learning from those who know better.

A buddy of mine created a website where people in Nigeria can ask and answer business-related questions, and you know what, it is a growing treasure trove of information.

Check it out when you get the chance, maybe it will inspire you to do something creative.

ShapShap.net – The #1 Question and Answer Website on Starting and Doing Business in Nigeria

God really can fulfill all your desires

Have you ever read a book, or listened to an audiobook or a speech or a message that got you deep in your soul. You know like when you are really physically attracted to someone and they touch you, even a simple handhold, and you feel that tingly sensation and you want more…yeah have you ever heard something that made you feel that way? If you haven’t then you really haven’t read any good books. Because when a book is or a person’s words are full of truth, it gets to you deep inside you, and you feel it. (granted there are some master speakers who say stupid things, but I’m not referring to those).

I have been reading a lot of these types of books lately, and they are really helping me see that God really CAN fulfill all my desires. There are Christians who say that they would be upset if God came before they got married, or before they experienced their honeymoon…I guess they just don’t understand what truth does to us as human beings. It inspires us, lifts us up, motivates us, makes us feel valued, makes us know that we can accomplish any goal that we set our minds to.

Yeah I like that feeling of liking someone and anticipating being around them, but the truth is time spent with God is so much better, and if you haven’t experienced it, then something needs to change.

Why don’t you do something this week that you have never done before…read a book or listen to an audiobook by a “christian motivational” speaker. Then get in your word and look at all the good gifts God has promised you, and take some time to study what God says about who you are in Christ.

Remember as a man thinks in his heart, so is he…if you think that you are scum, then you are. But if you think that you are more than a conqueror, empowered to overcome the devil daily, and that you absolutely delight God, then you are.

Have a great week my dear!

10 signs that it's time to quit your job

We’ve all worked at places that seemed to drain us, but the truth is we have a choice, and we can choose not to work at a job that hurts us, and demeans our sense of self. I wrote this list to inspire and encourage – get out before it kills you!

  1. You are exhausted and can’t do anything but lie in bed on “your day off.”
  2. You get upset when you are still at work one second after your time is up…and you get more upset as every second goes by.
  3. You come up with brilliant business ideas and day dream about what your life would be like if you were doing what you loved instead of being at the job.
  4. You spend more money on “snacks for work” for the week than you spend on your food budget for the entire month.
  5. The characters in your “work of fiction” come out of characters you meet at work.
  6. You find yourself getting angry at people you love because they just don’t seem to understand.
  7. You get angry reading self-help books because you’re not sure it will work for you.
  8. You don’t see a promotion any time soon, and honestly you really don’t want a promotion because it would just mean more stress.
  9. You silently cried at work, and no one even noticed.
  10. You gave up on ever finding fulfilling work.

 

The good news is there’s hope – Join me in screaming NO MORE DREADFUL MONDAYS!!!