People often talk about meeting the right one, finding the right one, how do you know he’s the right one etc…. the truth is, there is no “right one” out there just waiting for you so they can have a perfect relationship with you – with no issues. There are lots of bad ones, and there are lots of good ones, but it’s up to you to choose the right one for you- the one you will spend the rest of your life with. This is a series on choosing the right one – click here for the rest of the series.
Before I got married, my father explained to me that he was spending so much on the wedding… but one thing he emphasized was that if anything made me doubt that this guy was good for me, if there was any hesitation, if any cause for alarm or concern, then I was to let him know, and we would not go on with the wedding… It was that simple.
A marriage is a major commitment. Once you’re married, you need to do your best to make it work – maybe even better than your best to make it work (except when there is abuse). But before you’re married, you have many more choices. When you’re married you can’t decide to leave just because he hurts your feelings, or he is selfish or he is insensitive, or any other thing… you just have to deal with your feelings, manage your man and go on…
There are many women who have chosen to live with cheating, abusive husbands, because they are either afraid, ashamed, have decided that staying is the best option for the family or whatever – and they have learned to manage their husbands and go on…
When you are married, there are some decisions that you will make, that only makes sense to you, your priorities, your family – that others, especially single people, may not quite understand… but in the end you have to manage your husband, manage your family, take what you can and go on…
BUT… and trust me… that’s a big BUT(T?)
Before you’re married you have choices oh! it’s not by force to marry. You don’t have to marry just because all your friends are getting married, you don’t have to marry just because you’ve reached the age you think you should marry, you don’t have to marry because you have the itch to have sex, you don’t have to marry unless you’re sure that you would enjoy spending the rest of your life with this man… and I said “enjoy” not “manage” the rest of your life with this man.
Before you’re married you don’t have to manage your man because you think nothing better will ever come along, if he’s a thief, and he’s stealing from your purse, don’t manage him, because he’s handsome… If he occasionally slaps you, or hits you against the wall, don’t manage him because you don’t want to be alone… If he asks you to have sex, and you wanted to wait until marriage, don’t stay with him because you feel like since you’ve already slept with him before it’s okay, or you think he will eventually marry you. If he’s always drinking, and doing all sorts of crazy things, don’t stay with him because you think you will lead him to change. If he doesn’t like going to church, and that’s important to you, don’t stay with him because you think your life will lead him to Christ…
There will be a time when you will need to manage your man, but baby girl, before you get married is not the time…
It’s smiling time 🙂
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