10 signs that it's time to quit your job

We’ve all worked at places that seemed to drain us, but the truth is we have a choice, and we can choose not to work at a job that hurts us, and demeans our sense of self. I wrote this list to inspire and encourage – get out before it kills you!

  1. You are exhausted and can’t do anything but lie in bed on “your day off.”
  2. You get upset when you are still at work one second after your time is up…and you get more upset as every second goes by.
  3. You come up with brilliant business ideas and day dream about what your life would be like if you were doing what you loved instead of being at the job.
  4. You spend more money on “snacks for work” for the week than you spend on your food budget for the entire month.
  5. The characters in your “work of fiction” come out of characters you meet at work.
  6. You find yourself getting angry at people you love because they just don’t seem to understand.
  7. You get angry reading self-help books because you’re not sure it will work for you.
  8. You don’t see a promotion any time soon, and honestly you really don’t want a promotion because it would just mean more stress.
  9. You silently cried at work, and no one even noticed.
  10. You gave up on ever finding fulfilling work.

 

The good news is there’s hope – Join me in screaming NO MORE DREADFUL MONDAYS!!!

The Person: Anthony McNeil (Philadelphia, PA)

This is a lengthy but interesting article about one of the most interesting people I have ever met. Enjoy!

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The Person: Anthony McNeil (Philadelphia, PA)

Image by Gabriel Rodriguez


He screamed and screamed as he ran, yet no one responded. The seconds felt like hours. He began to wonder what would happen if he didn’t survive. He wondered why the gang had chosen to attack him. In those few minutes nothing made sense to him anymore. He could see people looking out of their windows and standing in their doorways watching as the gang surrounded him. He was stuck, he had nowhere to run. He was trapped between the stairway, the wall and the gang behind him. They pummeled him; hit him with anything they could find. He balled himself as tightly as he could and cried for help. Yet the people in the neighborhood, the ones standing in their doorways and staring out of their windows did nothing. They just watched.

It didn’t make sense to him; he couldn’t imagine why not a single one of them had tried to help him.

For the 12-year-old Anthony McNeil, he could easily have lost all hope. If there was ever a good time to give up, this was it. At least he would die with witnesses around (even though they probably wouldn’t testify). Thankfully a man appeared out of nowhere and chased the boys away. Thankfully, there was no permanent physical damage. But he was hurt inside, and over 40 years later, you can still hear the hurt and disappointment when he tells the story. He stood up dusted himself off the ground, shook his head at the neighbors watching him, and walked the rest of the way home. It didn’t make sense to him; he couldn’t imagine why not a single one of them had tried to help him.

Malcolm Gladwell in his book, the Tipping point, talked about the bystander effect, where people do nothing when they witness a crime in public. When in public, according to Gladwell, most people expect others to respond, and when no one responds, they assume that their own personal lack of response is okay. Gladwell argues using the Kitty Genovese story (a lady who was attacked, raped and murdered while her neighbors watched and did nothing) to prove his point that the chance of getting helped is inversely proportional to the amount of people present. Implying that if you are ever in danger, your chances of getting helped are better when there are fewer people around than when there is a crowd. Everyone in the crowd interprets everyone else’s inaction as the norm, making it less likely that anyone will choose to do something different.

But how do you justify letting a 12 year old get beaten to death in front of you?

But how do you justify letting a 12 year old get beaten to death in front of you? Did anyone call the police? Did anyone try to help him — no not anyone in that neighborhood? It’s just another person’s child, they could all hear him, but no one was listening. No one cared enough to listen.

Anthony McNeil is a tall handsome man – not too tall at 6”2’ but tall enough that he finds himself stooping low often when in conversation with others. He has the gait of a basketball player. And in his eyes you can tell that he has had more than his share of problems. When he walks into a room you can see the shadows of a man that once had great dreams but let many of them go. His shoulders are stooped; he is quiet; he observes, smiles and quietly responds. But every now and then you get a glimpse of the vivacious man behind the graying hair and the tired eyes. His laugh engulfs the room and beckons you, enticingly invites you to share in his quiet delight.

When I met Anthony he was working with autistic kids. He had discovered a correlation between the prevalence of autistic tendencies and the child’s diet. He had changed his and his daughter’s diets and had seen marked improvement in their overall physical and mental health. He was healthier and more energetic than he had been in years. He had discovered a secret, the secret to health – The secret that many would kill for, and would pay millions for. And of course he worked hard to get the news out to as many people as he could, to let people know that their diet was killing them, that their lives could be remarkably different if they just changed certain things. But for some reason no one was clamoring over him to hear the secret, no one was offering him millions to know how to eat better, and live fuller, richer lives. No one was listening.

In Greek mythology, there is an interesting tale of Cassandra who was able to trick Apollo into giving her the gift of prophecy, however Apollo not only gave her that gift, but he also cursed her so that no one would ever believe what she said. Cassandra foresaw the destruction of Troy and the Trojan horse that was used. She warned everybody, but no one listened to or believed her. As you can imagine, this gift of prophecy became a source of constant pain and frustration for Cassandra.

So what happened when the autistic child in Anthony’s care started behaving well and getting awards as a model student? Anthony should have gotten awards too. People should have clamored around him to find out his secret – the secret to making even autistic kids sit still, listen and learn. Instead people became “concerned.” They could not believe the results; he must have been hurting the child. He must have been too strict. He tried to tell them the truth, but like the Cassandra myth, they weren’t listening.

Anthony should have gotten awards too. People should have clamored around him to find out his secret – the secret to making even autistic kids sit still, listen and learn. Instead people became “concerned.”

But Cassandra is a myth, and the bystander effect only exists where people choose to let it exist. Where Cassandra gives up, Anthony valiantly continues. When once his passion had been to make money in the financial industry, now his passion is to save lives. Not only does he want to save people from living in miserable health, but he wants their souls saved too. He wants to love people with “that it just don’t make no sense love. No matter what people think say or do love.”

He says it with such passion and fervor that you just have to believe him. Anthony “is a very knowledgeable man… maybe overlooked by many but definitely a good person to know!” says Jolaine, a member of his Church. Anthony “helped me in my relationship with the Lord and never beat me in the head with the Bible.” says Gabe, another member of his church. It often seem like no one is listening, but apparently some people are.

Anthony is a simple man in the highest sense of the word. And it works well for him.

“If I didn’t have to worry about money and people’s opinions,” Anthony said, “I would tell everyone I see the truth.” And he does.

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Anthony McNeil resides in Philadelphia, PA where he is still passionately teaching people on the importance of living a healthy lifestyle. Feel free to contact him at:

City on the Hill Ministries

Anthony McNeil, BBA, MHS, CNHP

267-456-2031

I need people, yes I need you

A couple weeks ago we went to the state fair, and my 1 year old niece had a blast! The only problem was that when we got there we realized that we had forgotten to bring the stroller, and going back home was just not an option. Now for all those who have the privilege of hanging out with a walking toddler you all know that these little people love to walk…yes they can walk for miles and miles…in a circle…or they could walk a few feet and decide they would like to be picked up…and you just never know what mood they would be in. Well the dilemma was that picking up my niece the entire time could have ended up being a crazy ordeal, so what were we to do…two options stay at the fair and have a miserable time because we are all tired picking up the child, or go back home get the stroller, get back in that crazy traffic to come back to the fair…yeah we did not like either of the options…

But my genius sister in-law came up with an even greater option. She called, and sent texts to the people she knew had strollers and would be at the fair, and she found someone who planned on leaving the fair before we did, who would let us borrow their stroller! If it were up to me I would have just trudged on, taught my niece to “endure hardness”…and when she screamed I would have picked her up and learned to “endure hardness like a soldier”…but all that pain would have been unnecessary.

Don’t get me wrong, God is most important, but he created us for community. However, I am really starting to learn how much I really need people, especially because God has blessed me with some really great people in my life…I bet if you looked around you will find that there are some really great people in your life that you have overlooked…yes you may succeed if you do it all by yourself, but you will never be quite as great as you ought to…and the road will be unnecessarily tougher!

Why not do something this week that you have never done before…when you have a problem ask someone you trust for help, they will willingly and joyfully give it to you. And when you don’t have a problem let those people in your life know how much you appreciate them.

Remember as a man thinks in his heart so is he…so if you think you have to do everything by yourself, then you do. But if you think that you would rather live a more enjoyable life and enjoy the people in your life, then you will.

Have a great day my dear!

It stinks, but does it suck?

“That sucks!”

“It sucks when I…”

We use these kinds of statements often…and I must admit, I have used it many times because.. well it would explain my feeling of frustration and disappointment.

But I recently realized that the word “suck” actually came from a reference to oral sex!

WHAT??! yes when I’m trying to say that I am frustrated and annoyed about something I am actually using a word that has all sorts of additional connotations to it…

Some people still don’t realize the connotation or the history. There are many articles online talking about why it’s okay to use the word “sucks” and how it is here to stay, but these are the same people that think it is okay for every other word you say to be a foul four-letter curse word.

Well it’s a free world, and everyone is free to do whatever they want, but my perception is that using curse words only shows a person’s ignorance, and lack of desire to use their creativity. It’s easy to use a curse word to get people to laugh, or to shock people, but it is harder and more creative to get your point across without them.

So before you use the word ask yourself: “It may stink, but does it suck?”

p.s. “that blows” probably would not be a good choice either.

Of Choice and Men

Whenever I go to Subway I get anxious.

I always wonder what is the perfect bread with the perfect combination to get the perfect sub. I try to think of the pros and cons of the honey wheat or the whole wheat, and then I wonder if I should get something with chicken or beef or the classic meatball sub.

By the time I finally get to the top of the line I’m perspiring from thinking so hard. It feels as if the weight of the world is upon me. Then I do what I did the week before, and every week before that…I order a sub on Honey wheat bun with tuna fish and everything on it (I know odd – but hey it tastes delicious).

The problem is that unending search for perfection. With more choices we have more opportunities to be wrong, so we try hard to avoid being wrong by sticking with the tried and true…

But the tried and true is boring…instead of looking for perfect and avoiding failure, let us work on failing as often as we can…after all every failure brings us that much closer to success.

I'm a big coward

I boldly encourage everyone to pursue their dreams, yet I find that I “don’t have enough time” to pursue my dreams.

I dream big dreams, yet settle for mediocrity and complacency.

I know I’m an artist, but like Hitler, I am yet to produce any art.

I fear other people seeing me as a failure, more than actually being a failure.

Well…thank God there’s hope for me yet.

—After all…I’m just a typical entrepreneur.

Stop trying to figure out what your passion is

So you have taken all these personality and skills test. You have asked all the people in your life what they think are your strengths, you have sat down for hours trying to figure out what you want to do with your life. The problem is that you already know what you enjoy doing. For crying out loud you enjoy doing it, so you do it. You spend every free moment you can spare to do this thing. When you think about this thing that you do it makes you happy, and you smile. Not one of those fake smiles that you give to strangers, but the kind of smile that comes from deep down in your soul.

The problem is you can’t put what you enjoy doing in any of the categories or any of the jobs that you can see out there. Yeah you enjoy talking to people and encouraging them, but you don’t see yourself being a counselor or a psychologist, then why don’t you create a career for yourself. Do you think if I said when I was 5 years old that I dreamt of becoming a “blogger” that people would have encouraged me and told me what college to go to where professional bloggers are made?

These days people want to see passion, and people want to connect. There are so many careers today that we could not have imagined years before, and there are so many careers that will exist tomorrow that if you don’t take time to imagine it now, you will be surprised when someone else is in the career field that would have been perfect for you.

So why don’t you do something this week that you have never done before…use the things that you enjoy and create what your ideal work day would be like. Then start to think of ways that you can serve people doing what you love. Yes you may have to still work a regular job until the work you love takes off…but trust me it will make your day a lot brighter, and you may be surprised to find out that it doesn’t take as long as you expected it to.

Remember that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he…if you think you cannot make a career doing what you love, then you cannot. But if you think that what you love doing is actually such a great service that you know people will love to invest in it, then it is.

Have a great week my dear!

Why should I care?

As a business owner (or artist, storyteller, or human being) the first question you must answer when trying to get a client is “why should anyone care about what you are selling?”

  1. What is unique about you?
  2. Why should I buy from you and not from the business across the street?
  3. Who are you? and why should I care?

Everyone has a unique story to tell, so you must use your unique story to sell your product or service.

Everyone has at least one thing that they are excellent at doing. What do you want to leave behind?

Complete this sentence: “You should care because…”

Still need some help- Copyblogger can help

MLK Jr – Injustice is still here

We must all fight injustice!

Here is an excerpt from letter from a Birmingham jail- by Martin Luther King

We have waited for more than 340 years for our constitutional and God given rights. The nations of Asia and Africa are moving with jetlike speed toward gaining political independence, but we still creep at horse and buggy pace toward gaining a cup of coffee at a lunch counter. Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of segregation to say, “Wait.”

But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society;

when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six year old daughter why she can’t go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five year old son who is asking: “Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?”

Injustice is still here, but it is up to you to fight it. We need you.