(15) Read – Beat loneliness | 57 Ways

FIFTEEN (57 Ways to Beat Loneliness & Depression)

Read.

There is so much knowledge out in the world. There are so many fascinating things to learn and be excited about. Pick up a book in the library, or go to the bookstore and pick up a book. I’m sure I can suggest a few if you’re interested – just send me an email (or leave a comment).

Find a good book – fiction or nonfiction. Find a quiet spot. Forget all the worries, forget everything, and just read until you can read no more. You will be surprised at how invigorated and inspired you may be after reading a good book.

Remember life is meant to be celebrated, not barely survived.

What good books have you read lately? or are you hoping to read soon?

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(14) Smile – Beat Loneliness | 57 Ways

FOURTEEN. (57 Ways to Beat loneliness & Depression)

Smile

Smiling is such a simple thing. It’s amazing to realize that many people rarely smile. How unfortunate!

When we smile we feel better – we start to have pleasant thoughts, and realize that things are not as bad as we thought they were. Smiling is also great because people see us as friendly people and want to be friends with us.

(It may also attract more dates, but I would suggest taking it slow… since smiling people are so rare, it’s easy to mistake appreciation of a friendly face for “love”- We’ll talk some more about that later)

Make a conscious effort to smile more…you’ll be amazed how much better you feel when you smile.

Remember life is meant to be appreciated, not regretted.

Want to learn more about beating loneliness? Click here

(13) Focus on Today – Beat Loneliness | 57 Ways

THIRTEEN. (57 Ways to Beat Loneliness & Depression)

Focus on Today

We spend so much time longing for what was, and what could be. We spend so much time regretting and hoping…We forget to live and enjoy today. Instead of worrying about what could happen, or what you would like to happen that may never happen, focus on today.

Today life is beautiful. I have food to eat, I have clothes to wear, I am healthy, and I am safe.

If nothing else, Today is good, so focus on Today.

Remember life is meant to be lived, not survived.

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(12) Embrace the longing – Beat Loneliness | 57 Ways

TWELVE. (57 Ways to Beat Loneliness & Depression)

Embrace the Longing

As women, we often think that we should not long for (ahem) companionship. We think that good women who have given their lives to God and have committed themselves to serving God and have called God the lover of their souls should not feel that kind of desire.

Of course it’s okay for men to long for (ahem) companionship. But women, No! Not virtuous women anyway…That’s wrong. As long as we are human beings we will always long for intimacy, it’s important to learn to embrace this longing. The important thing is that we use this longing for good. We protect our desires and use it for the right purpose – Within the confines of committed relationship (AKA Marriage).

There is nothing wrong with longing for intimacy. Embrace it, but don’t set yourself up to fail, by putting yourself in compromising situations.

Remember life is meant to be ravished not barely lived.

Want to learn more about beating loneliness? Click here

(11) Let go of sexual abuse – Beat loneliness | 57 Ways

ELEVEN. (57 Ways to Beat Loneliness & Depression)

Let go of sexual abuse

One of my roommates in College believed that most people in Africa were sexually abused as children (by close family members). When she first told me this, I was shocked, and could not agree with her. But as I get older and hear people’s stories, I am starting to agree with her.

The problem with childhood sexual abuse is that most people never really deal with it. We all either internalize it and try to forget, or we are told by family members to keep it secret. We feel shame, regret for what was lost, and sometimes continue to think that there is something desperately wrong with us…

To let go it may be important to talk about it – find someone you trust, and let it out…

Remember that life is meant to be enjoyed, not regretted!

 Want to learn more about beating loneliness? Click here

Hot dogs and "Secrets of the Vine For Women" book review

I never really liked hot dogs, but every time I visit Ikea, I’m reminded of what hot dogs can really taste like.

When I go to the grocery store to pick up a pack of hot dogs I try to find the healthiest I can find. Most of the time I end up trying to decide between salt-ladened turkey hot dogs with “no nitrites or preservatives” or turkey hot dogs with low salt but chuck full of preservatives. I usually take the salt and leave the preservatives, but I always wonder if it is better to keep the preservatives and let the salt go…

Reading “ Secrets of the Vine for Women“* (by Darlene Marie Wilkinson) was kind of like being in the market again and trying to decide whether to take the salt or the preservatives. I could tell that Ms. Wilkinson’s heart was to glorify God and to encourage his people, and I fully admire that. I admire her courage with making herself so vulnerable. I admire her commitment to God’s word and God’s women in deciding to write this book especially for women, and there was so much that was good about the book, and so much that was not so good….

The good

She uses John 15 (Jesus’ talk with his disciples) to teach us about God and his love and how he helps us to be better – emphasizing 3 different seasons – “Discipline,” “Pruning,” and “Abiding.”

She focuses on the fact that everything God does for us is out of his love and is to make us better!

She emphasizes the importance of staying with God and trusting God through everything.

This is where things start to go north

The bad

She states that God will use suffering to get our attention (p.41)…

and then, some of her examples do not show God as a loving father:

  1. p.46 God disciplines by making the woman’s boyfriend betray her, and making the woman lose her job???
  2. p.62 God used personal tragedy (house burning down) as an opportunity for pruning
  3. p.63 God pruned the person through illness
  4. p. 65 God took the lady’s voice away as a way of pruning
etc. etc. etc.
So will I recommend this book – probably not. Some people may be able to take the good parts and move on, but too many people may read this book and believe that God is the one sending them tragedies to teach them something, instead of realizing that the devil is the thief and the destroyer, and that they need to resist him. Perhaps you are like me and would rather read the book anyway, just make sure you realize that you may be reading something chuck full of salt or preservatives that may be harmful for you…or you may choose to check out other books.
To understand what a loving father God is you can check out:
God really can fulfill all your desires

 

* Waterbrook Multnomah provided me with a free copy to review

57 ways to Beat loneliness & Depression 1-10

Hey everyone, I hope you are enjoying this series on ending loneliness – I enjoyed researching and blogging about it.

For those who may have missed a day, I have everything organized here for you.

Please feel free to leave a comment at the bottom of this post if you would like the series to continue, or if you would like to go back to the previous series about “finding the one” or if there are any other issues you would like to talk about.

Thank you – Remember to enjoy life!

  1. Crush your biological clock
  2. Embrace boredom
  3. Create something
  4. Stop praying about it
  5. Quit your job and find work you love
  6. Imagine death
  7. Find your purpose in life
  8. Let past mistakes go
  9. Stop blaming God
  10. Stop having sex

Want to learn more about beating loneliness? Click here

(10) Stop having sex – Beat loneliness | 57 Ways

TEN.  (57 Ways to  Beat Loneliness & Depression)

Stop having sex. (if you’re not married)

There is nothing on this side of death (so I’m told) that is as pleasurable as sex. It feels great, it makes you feel connected, it relieves stress…it’s an all around good time. The thing about sex is that it connects you with whoever you are sleeping with. So that it doesn’t matter whether they are right for you or not, you become blinded to their faults and the incompatibilities between the two of you.

There is a kind of hurt you feel after you break up with someone, but there is a different kind of hurt (heart-shattering-life-changing-overwhelmingly-devastating hurt) when you break up with someone you’ve had sex with.

It hurts every time. Yes you may be able to numb yourself after a while, but that only leads to dysfunctional relationships in the future. So if you’re not married, stop having sex (If you are married…obviously this does not apply to you).

Remember life is meant to be enjoyed, not  regretted.

So what are some other reasons why unmarried people should stop having sex?

Want to learn more about beating loneliness? Click here

(9) Stop blaming God – Beat loneliness | 57 Ways

NINE. (57 Ways to Beat Loneliness & Depression)

Stop blaming God

God is a good God, and he said he will not withhold any good thing from you, and he also said that he who finds a wife finds a good thing… God only wants good things for you.

No he does not control whether you get married or not…he has given you (and everyone else for that matter) the free will to make decisions. He can guide you, if you ask for his guidance, but he will not force you or anyone else to do anything. He loves you and wants the best for you. Whenever you feel yourself feeling sad and thinking that the reason you are single is because God wants you to be single. Stop yourself – if God wanted you to be single, you wouldn’t have the desire to be married.

Remember life is meant to be enjoyed, not to be spent blaming others for our misery.

So how do you ask for God’s guidance?

Want to learn more about beating loneliness? Click here

(8) Let past mistakes go – Beat Loneliness | 57 Ways

EIGHT. (57 Ways to Beat Loneliness & Depression)

Let past mistakes go

We all have past mistakes. Things we could have done better, people we could have treated better, choices we could have made but didn’t. It’s time to let it go, and live in the moment.

You can’t change the past, only the present. Forgive yourself, and anyone else that disappointed you in the past. Don’t torment yourself thinking whether life would have been better if you had done things differently. Don’t keep rehashing the arguments and wondering if you would have been married by now if you hadn’t been so stupid….let it go.

Remember life is meant to be enjoyed, not to be tormenting.

So now that you have chosen to forgive, how are you going to celebrate?

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